I Want A Divorce

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πŸ’” I Want A Divorce πŸ’”


A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset. 


_"You are a disrespectful pig!"_ she cried. _"How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!"_


The husband calmly replied, _"Hang on just a minute love. At least let me tell you what happened."_


_"Fine, go ahead",_ the wife sobbed, _"but they will be the last words you say to me!"_


The husband began:


_"Well, as I was getting into the car at work to drive home, this young lady here asked me for a lift. 


She looked so distressed, helpless and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car."_


_"She was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty and told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."_


_"Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. 


The poor thing ate it, ravenously."_


_"She was dirty. I suggested she have a shower. While showering, I noticed her clothes were filthy and threadbare. I threw them away."_


_"I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight."_


_"I gave her underwear, your anniversary present from me, which you don’t wear because you said I don't have good taste."_


_"I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her. 


I also donated those boots you bought at an expensive boutique but don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair."_


The husband paused, took a quick breath and continued:


_"She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, *“Please sir... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”🀣🀣

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