His Wife Was Upset, The Chemist Explained Why

… the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife

Tearfully she explained, “It's the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it.  This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.  I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.  I had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket

Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire

When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.  I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.”

“Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.  I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it

It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.  Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!”