Before She Died, Sonia Todd Wrote Her Own Obituary—And Left the World a Final Gift of Humor, Honesty, and Wisdom
Sonia Todd of Moscow, Idaho, passed away from cancer at just 38 years old. But before she left this world, she made one last decision that continues to inspire long after her passing: she wrote her own obituary.
Knowing her time was short, Sonia didn’t want the usual sanitized, overly sentimental obituary that’s often cobbled together by grieving family members. As she explained in the piece she submitted to the Moscow-Pullman Daily News, most obituaries come in two forms—either a dull recitation of life events or a flowery eulogy stuffed with half-truths and exaggerations. She didn’t want either.
So, she picked up a pen and told her story the only way she knew how—with candor, humor, and humility. In doing so, Sonia managed to do something that few people accomplish in life or death: she made people laugh, cry, and reflect on what really matters.
“I never really accomplished anything of note,” she wrote, almost offhandedly. But anyone reading her words would quickly realize just how wrong she was. In that single sentence—and in the honesty that followed—Sonia accomplished something extraordinary: she told the truth, and in doing so, gave others permission to do the same.
A Life, Told Her Way
Sonia opened her self-written obituary with her signature wit and humility.
“Other than giving birth to my two wonderful, lovable, witty, and amazing sons (James and Jason), marrying my gracious, understanding, and precious husband (Brian), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior—I have done very little. None of which requires obit space that I have to shell out money for,” she wrote, with a wink.
She didn't want anyone forced into the awkward task of writing glowing tributes after her passing—tributes, she joked, that would likely be “filled with fish tales, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and outright honest-to-goodness lies.” Instead, Sonia took the pressure off her loved ones and offered a version of her life that was refreshingly real.
“I just tried to do the best I could,” she wrote. “Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried.”
Brutal Honesty, Beautiful Legacy
For Sonia, writing her obituary wasn’t an act of morbidity—it was a celebration of imperfection. She confessed her regrets, admitted her flaws, and reminded us that at the end of the road, it’s not about perfection, but about effort and kindness.
“For all of my crazy comments, jokes, and complaints, I really did love people,” she admitted. “The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in. I didn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing, and when you come to the end of your life, those are the things you really regret—the small, simple things that hurt other people.”
While Sonia acknowledged the joy in her life, she didn’t pretend it was always easy. She wrote openly about the difficult seasons—especially during her teenage years and early twenties—and the bumps in the road that shaped her.
“I learned something from every bad situation, and I couldn’t do any more than that,” she said.
And then, in typical Sonia fashion, she dropped a final punchline: “There are benefits to dying young. I still owe on my student loans and the joke’s on them, ‘cause I’m not paying them. Plus, I’m no longer afraid of serial killers, telemarketers, or the IRS.”
Gratitude and a Call to Action
Though she laughed at the idea of legacy, Sonia left behind something far more lasting than an impressive résumé. She left gratitude. She used her final words not just to reflect, but to thank those who made her life joyful, even in its brevity.
“I think it’s great [writing my own obituary] because I get a chance to say thank you to all the people who helped me along the way. Those who loved me, assisted me, cared for me, laughed with me, and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life. I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what made my life worthwhile.”
And perhaps the most powerful part came at the end—a simple list of actions Sonia hoped others would take in her memory. Not grand gestures. Just small, human acts of kindness and connection.
“If you think of me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory, do this:
Volunteer at a school, church, or library.
Write a letter to someone and tell them how they have had a positive effect on your life.
If you smoke—quit.
If you drink and drive—stop.
Turn off the electronics and take a kid out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams.
Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Stop at all lemonade stands run by kids and brag about their product.
Make someone smile today if it is in your power to do so.”
Her Final Gift
Sonia Todd didn’t just write her own obituary—she offered a roadmap for how to live more honestly, more generously, and with a lot more laughter. She reminded us that we don’t have to be famous, rich, or perfect to leave a mark. Sometimes, it’s enough just to be real.
Her story, and the words she left behind, continue to resonate with readers across the country and around the world. In facing death, Sonia gave us a lasting lesson in how to live.
Today seems like the perfect time to take her advice—to put down the phone, forgive that grudge, compliment a stranger, or write a letter to someone who once changed your life.
Because unlike Sonia, most of us still have time.
Let’s not waste it.