Here’s a rewritten and expanded version that keeps the humor intact while adding smoother flow, clearer buildup, and a bit more storytelling flair:
A 65-year-old woman suddenly surprised everyone in her neighborhood by signing up for swimming lessons. For years, her schedule had been predictable—bingo on Tuesdays, bingo on Thursdays, and the occasional coffee with friends in between. So when people saw her heading to the pool instead of the bingo hall, curiosity spread fast.
Friends began asking, “Why swimming? What made you change your routine all of a sudden?”
With a weary sigh and a helpless little smile, the woman explained, “Every time my son and his wife argue, my daughter-in-law always asks him the same question: ‘If your mom and I both fell into the water, who would you save first?’”
She shook her head and continued, “I don’t want to put my son in such a terrible position. So I decided the best solution was simple—I’ll learn how to swim!”
A few days later, as fate would have it, the couple was arguing again. Right on cue, the daughter-in-law crossed her arms and demanded, “Tell me right now! If your mother and I both fell into the water, who would you save first?”
The husband replied calmly, “I wouldn’t have to jump in at all. My mom knows how to swim now—she’d save you.”
Unhappy with that answer, the wife snapped back, “No! You have to jump in and save one of us. Choose!”
The husband thought for a moment, then said, “Well… then you’d definitely drown.”
The wife gasped. “What?! Why?”
He shrugged. “Because I can’t swim—and my mom would jump in and save me first.”
LOL!
Hope that one made you smile 😊
Have a wonderful day!
An Old Woman in an Elevator
An elderly woman was riding alone in the elevator of a luxurious New York City building, surrounded by marble walls and mirrored panels. At the next floor, the doors opened and a young, glamorous woman stepped in, trailing an expensive cloud of perfume behind her.
She glanced down at the old woman and announced proudly, “Ralph Lauren’s Romance. One hundred and fifty dollars an ounce.”
A few floors later, another stylish young woman entered. She, too, looked at the elderly lady with a smug smile and declared, “Chanel No. 5. Two hundred dollars an ounce.”
The elevator continued upward in awkward silence.
Three floors later, the old woman reached her stop. Before stepping out, she slowly turned, looked both women straight in the eyes, leaned forward slightly… and let out a loud fart.
Then she smiled sweetly and said, “Broccoli. Forty-nine cents a pound.”
LOL!!!
Hope this gave you another good laugh 😄
Have a great day!