An elegant elderly lady strolled into the bar aboard a luxury cruise ship and settled comfortably onto a stool. With a gentle smile, she said to the bartender,
“I’ll have a Scotch… with just two drops of water.”
The bartender nodded, poured the drink, and slid it across the counter. As she lifted the glass, she added casually,
“You know, I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday. And today is the big day.”
The bartender’s eyes lit up.
“Well then, happy birthday! This drink is on the house.”
She raised her glass in thanks and enjoyed every sip.
When she finished, the woman sitting to her right leaned over and said warmly,
“Well, happy birthday! Let me buy you your next drink.”
The old lady smiled.
“That’s very kind of you. Bartender, another Scotch—two drops of water, please.”
“Coming right up,” he said.
After finishing that drink, the man seated to her left chimed in.
“An 80th birthday deserves another toast. I’d love to buy you one more.”
She laughed softly.
“Why thank you, my dear. Bartender—same order.”
As the bartender placed the drink in front of her, curiosity finally got the better of him.
“Ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking… why Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old lady giggled and leaned closer.
“Sonny, when you get to my age, you learn exactly how to hold your liquor.
Water, however… is a whole different problem.”
LOL!
If that didn’t make you smile, here’s another one 😊
One day, an old lady walked into a bank, stood patiently in line, and finally approached the counter. She handed her bank card to the teller and said politely,
“I’d like to withdraw $500.”
The teller barely looked up.
“For withdrawals under $5,000, you’ll need to use the ATM.”
The old lady blinked.
“Why?”
Irritated, the teller replied,
“Those are the rules. Please step aside if there’s nothing else—you’re holding up the line.”
The old lady paused for a moment, then calmly handed the card back and said,
“In that case, please help me withdraw all the money in my account.”
The teller sighed, typed in the details—and froze.
Her face went pale. She leaned forward and whispered respectfully,
“My apologies, ma’am. You have $3.5 million in your account. Unfortunately, we don’t have that much cash on hand today. Could you please make an appointment and return tomorrow?”
The old lady nodded thoughtfully.
“Well then… how much can I withdraw today?”
“Up to $300,000,” the teller said quickly.
“That will be fine,” the old lady replied.
Within minutes, the teller personally counted the cash and handed it over with great care. The old lady placed $500 into her purse, then slid the remaining $299,500 back across the counter.
“Please deposit the rest back into my account,” she said sweetly.