A Little Humor Goes a Long Way
The Great Body Swap
A man grew increasingly bitter about his daily routine. Every morning, he dragged himself to work, clocked in for eight long hours, and came home exhausted—while his wife stayed home all day.
One night, fed up and feeling unappreciated, he prayed,
“Dear Lord, I work nonstop while my wife stays home. I just want her to understand what I go through. Please—let us switch bodies for a day.”
In His infinite wisdom, God granted the request.
The next morning, the man woke up as his wife.
He jumped out of bed and immediately got to work—making breakfast, waking the kids, laying out their clothes, feeding them, packing lunches, and driving them to school. He rushed back home, picked up dry cleaning, stopped at the bank, paid bills at the power and phone companies, then did the grocery shopping.
Once home, he put everything away, cleaned the litter box, bathed the dog, and realized it was already 1 p.m.
Panicking, he made the beds, started laundry, vacuumed, dusted, swept, and mopped the kitchen floor. Then he rushed back out to pick up the kids, argued with them the entire ride home, handed out cookies and milk, supervised homework, and ironed clothes while watching TV.
By 4:30, he was peeling potatoes, washing greens, breading pork chops, snapping beans, and preparing dinner. Afterward, he cleaned the kitchen, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
By 9 p.m., utterly exhausted, he crawled into bed—where he was still expected to have a “great time” with his wife.
The next morning, he fell to his knees and prayed,
“Lord, I was wrong. I was so wrong. Please change us back!”
God replied kindly,
“My son, I’m glad you learned your lesson. I’ll switch you back… but you’ll have to wait nine months.”
“You got pregnant last night.”
The Dogs and the Restaurant
Two buddies were walking with their dogs—one had a Doberman Pinscher, the other a Chihuahua.
“Let’s grab something to eat,” said the Doberman’s owner.
“We can’t,” said the Chihuahua guy. “They won’t let dogs in.”
“Just follow my lead.”
The Doberman’s owner put on sunglasses and walked inside.
“No pets allowed!” said the bouncer.
“This is my seeing-eye dog,” the man replied.
“A Doberman?” the bouncer asked skeptically.
“Yes. They’re using them now. Very protective.”
“Alright, go on in.”
The Chihuahua owner shrugged, put on sunglasses, and walked in.
“No pets allowed!”
“This is my seeing-eye dog,” he said.
“A Chihuahua?”
The man stared at his dog in disbelief.
“A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!”
Calling Mom
A customer once left his cell phone in a store. Curious, the clerk scrolled through the contacts, stopped at “Mom,” and called.
He explained what happened.
“Oh, don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll handle it.”
A few minutes later, the phone rang again.
It was “Mom.”
“Martin,” she said sternly, “you left your phone at the convenience store.”
The Last Night of Silence
A man sat at a bar, ordering vodka after vodka.
Eventually, the bartender asked, “Everything okay?”
The man sighed. “I had a huge fight with my wife. She said she won’t talk to me for a month. I’m sleeping on the couch.”
The bartender nodded. “Best to stop drinking, go home, and fix it tonight.”
The man smiled sadly.
“You don’t understand. This is the last night.”
The Dipstick Problem
A blonde stopped at a gas station, opened the hood, checked the oil, and frowned deeply.
She walked up to the attendant holding the dipstick.
“Excuse me,” she said, “can I buy a longer dipstick?”
“Why?” the attendant asked.
“Because this one isn’t long enough to reach the oil.”
The Airplane Engines
Two blondes were flying from Cleveland to Miami.
Fifteen minutes in, the captain announced,
“One engine has failed, but don’t worry—we have three left.”
Later,
“Another engine has failed, but we still have two.”
An hour later,
“One more engine has failed. We have one engine left.”
One blonde turned to the other and said,
“If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day.”
The Smoking Warning
A wife warned her husband,
“If you keep smoking and drinking, your intestines will fall out.”
He ignored her.
So one morning, she stuffed animal intestines into his underwear while he slept.
He woke up screaming, then fell silent for half an hour.
Eventually, he staggered downstairs, sweating.
“What happened?” she asked.
“You were right,” he gasped. “My intestines came out… but after a lot of work, I managed to push them back in.”
The Miracle Makeup
Michael’s wife bought expensive cosmetics promising to make her look younger.
After applying them, she asked,
“Honestly, if you didn’t know me, how old would you say I am?”
Michael studied her carefully.
“Your skin—twenty. Your hair—eighteen. Your figure—twenty-five.”
She beamed.
Then he added,
“Hold on… I haven’t added them up yet.”
(P.S. If you’ve seen Michael, please contact us. We’re worried.)
The English Exam
An angry father stormed into the principal’s office.
“My son Winslow got a zero on his English test!”
The teacher explained, “He handed in a completely blank paper.”
“That’s no excuse!” the father snapped.
“You could’ve at least given him an A for neatness!”
Machine and Bottle
After their first child, Tom told a lawyer,
“I don’t want my life regulated by a machine or fed through a bottle.”
Sarah took that very seriously.
When they got home, she unplugged the TV and poured out all his beer.
The Honest Boy
A woman lost her purse while Christmas shopping.
A boy returned it.
She looked inside and said,
“That’s odd. I had a $20 bill, and now I have twenty $1 bills.”
The boy replied,
“That’s right, lady. Last time I found a purse, there was no reward.”
The Fearless Trainee
On his first day at work, a trainee dialed what he thought was the pantry.
“Get me a coffee—now!”
A voice snapped back,
“You idiot! Do you know who you’re talking to?!”
“No,” said the trainee.
“I’m the CEO!”
The trainee paused.
“And do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No…”
“Good.” Click.
If you laughed—even once—mission accomplished 😄
Have a great day. You are loved.