A woman stepped out of the bank, purse tucked under her arm, already planning her next stop—when her stomach dropped.
Her car keys were gone.
She froze, then frantically dug through her purse. Receipts. Lipstick. Old gum wrappers. No keys.
“Oh no,” she gasped. “I must have left them in the car!”
Heart pounding, she sprinted back outside.
The parking space was empty.
Gone.
Vanished.
She immediately called the police, breathless as she explained everything—how she’d gone into the bank for just a minute, how the keys must’ve been left inside, how her car had disappeared. She rattled off the license plate number like she was taking a final exam.
Then came the call she was dreading even more.
Her husband.
“H-honey,” she stammered, “I think the car’s been stolen. I left the keys inside.”
There was a long pause. Then his voice exploded through the phone.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I DROPPED YOU OFF AT THE BANK! YOU DIDN’T EVEN TAKE THE CAR!”
She stopped cold.
“Oh,” she said softly.
Then, with sudden relief, “Thank God!”
Another pause.
“Uh… so,” she added, “can you come pick me up?”
He sighed deeply. “Of course. Right after I convince the police I didn’t steal our own car.”
LOL!!
Don’t Underestimate Grandma
An elderly woman walked into a bank and calmly handed her card to the teller.
“I’d like to withdraw five hundred dollars,” she said.
The teller barely looked up. “For withdrawals under five thousand, you’ll need to use the ATM.”
The old lady blinked. “Why?”
With a hint of irritation, the teller replied, “Those are the rules. Please step aside if you don’t have another transaction—there’s a line behind you.”
The teller slid the card back across the counter.
The old woman studied it for a moment… then slid it right back.
“Alright,” she said sweetly. “Then please help me withdraw all my money.”
The teller sighed, typed a few keys—then froze.
Her eyes widened.
She leaned forward, suddenly very polite. “I’m so sorry, ma’am. You have $3.5 million in your account, and unfortunately, we don’t have that much cash available today. Could you make an appointment and come back tomorrow?”
The old lady nodded thoughtfully. “I see. Well then… how much can I withdraw today?”
“Up to three hundred thousand dollars,” the teller replied nervously.
“Perfect,” the old woman said. “I’ll take that.”
The teller rushed to process the transaction, counted the money with shaking hands, and respectfully handed over the stack.
The old lady opened her purse, took out $500, slipped it inside… then handed the remaining $299,500 back.
“Please deposit the rest,” she said calmly.
LOL!
Moral of the story:
Never mess with senior citizens—they’ve got money, patience, and absolutely nothing to prove.
Hope this gave you a good laugh 😄
Have a wonderful day!