The store manager stood near the counter, arms crossed, his voice low but sharp.
“I saw you arguing with that customer who just walked out,” he said. “I’ve told you before—the customer is always right. Do you understand me?”
The salesclerk straightened immediately.
“Yes, sir. The customer is always right.”
The manager nodded, satisfied. “Good. That’s better. Now tell me—what were you and the customer arguing about?”
The salesclerk hesitated for just a second before answering calmly,
“Well, sir… he said you were an idiot.”
Green’s Gourmet Grocery
A regular customer wandered through Green’s Gourmet Grocery, watching the proprietor move effortlessly between shelves, registers, and conversations. Finally, shaking his head in admiration, he said, “Green, I’ve got to ask—what makes you so smart?”
Green leaned in closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially.
“I don’t usually share my secret,” he whispered, glancing around to make sure no one else was listening. “But since you’re a loyal customer, I’ll tell you. Fish heads.”
“Fish heads?” the customer repeated.
“That’s right,” Green said confidently. “Eat enough of them and you’ll be brilliant.”
“You sell them here?” the customer asked.
“Of course,” Green replied. “Only four dollars each.”
The customer bought three.
A week later, he stormed back into the store.
“Those fish heads were disgusting,” he complained. “And I’m not any smarter.”
Green shook his head sympathetically. “You didn’t eat enough.”
Determined, the customer bought twenty more fish heads.
Two weeks later, he returned—this time furious.
“Green!” he shouted. “You’re charging me four dollars for a fish head when I can buy the entire fish for two dollars. You’re ripping me off!”
Green smiled warmly and nodded.
“You see?” he said. “You’re smarter already.”
Two Husbands Talking
Two husbands were talking about married life. Both agreed they were happily married—most of the time—but admitted that arguments still happened now and then.
Then Chad leaned back with a grin.
“I’ve made one great discovery,” he said. “I finally know how to always have the last word.”
Sherm’s eyes widened. “Always? How did you manage that?”
“It’s simple,” Chad replied.
“My last word is always… ‘Yes, dear.’”