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Two deaf men were sitting in a cozy coffee shop, enjoying their drinks and chatting animatedly in sign language. Before long, the conversation turned to married life. One of them sighed deeply and signed to the other,
“Buddy, my wife was furious with me last night. She went on and on, and I swear she wouldn’t stop for a second.”
The other man chuckled knowingly and signed back,
“When my wife starts going off on me, I just don’t listen.”
His friend looked puzzled.
“How do you do that?” he asked.
With a grin, the man replied,
“It’s simple—I turn off the light.”
Two men were talking casually about their wives during lunch.
The first man smiled proudly and said,
“My wife is an angel.”
The second man raised an eyebrow and replied,
“You’re lucky. Mine’s still alive.”
One evening, Sam called his wife, his voice trembling and weak.
“Hey baby,” he began dramatically, “I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when suddenly a stray dog ran into the road. I swerved to avoid hitting it, but the car skidded at high speed. It rolled over and nearly went off a cliff. The car was hanging nose-down over the edge, and I looked straight into the abyss, convinced I was about to die.”
He paused for effect, then continued,
“Just before the car fell thousands of feet and exploded into pieces, I managed to crawl out and save myself. An ambulance rushed me to the hospital. I’ve got a broken leg, a broken jaw, a dislocated shoulder, and several head injuries.”
There was a long silence on the line.
Finally, his wife spoke calmly and asked,
“Who is Mary?”
In the middle of a hectic workday, John received a call from his friend Paul.
“John,” Paul said excitedly, “I just bought my wife a very expensive diamond ring. I hope this doesn’t ruin our long friendship.”
John laughed.
“Paul, have you lost your mind? Why would buying your wife a diamond ring break up our friendship?”
Paul replied nervously,
“Well… because my wife just took it over to your house to show it to your wife.”
“I’ve had it with your constant jokes about my weight,” a woman snapped. “I’m leaving you!”
Her husband looked stunned.
“But honey, what about our child?”
She froze.
“What child?!”
He blinked and replied,
“Oh… so you’re not pregnant?”