A Blonde and Milk Bath

 A blonde had recently heard from a friend that milk baths were the secret to soft skin and lasting beauty.

According to the story, ancient queens and movie stars had used them for centuries to keep their skin smooth, glowing, and youthful.

The idea fascinated her.

By the next morning, she had already made up her mind.

She was going to try it herself.

Certain that this luxurious beauty ritual would work wonders, she hurried to the front door and left a note for the milkman before he arrived on his morning route.

The note read:

“Please leave 25 gallons of milk.”

Later that morning, the milkman arrived, carrying his usual deliveries.

As he glanced down at the note, he stopped in his tracks.

Twenty-five gallons?

He blinked and read it again, convinced he must have misunderstood.

Surely that had to be a mistake.

Maybe she meant 2.5 gallons.

That seemed much more reasonable.

After all, who on earth needed twenty-five gallons of milk?

Curious and slightly concerned, he walked up to the door and knocked.

A moment later, the blonde opened it with an excited smile.

The milkman held up the note and said,

“Ma’am, I found your note asking for 25 gallons of milk.”

He hesitated, then added,

“Did you perhaps mean 2.5 gallons?”

She shook her head immediately.

“Oh no, I definitely meant 25 gallons.”

The milkman looked even more puzzled.

“Twenty-five gallons?” he repeated.

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes! I’m going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.”

The milkman stared at her for a moment, trying not to laugh.

Then, unable to resist, he asked with a completely straight face,

“Would you like that pasteurized?”

The blonde thought for a second, then smiled and replied,

“No, just up to my neck will be fine.”