His Wife Was Upset, The Chemist Explained Why

 I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it

It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.  Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!”